back in the day I made really ridiculous pokemon card thingies
hand-drawn. Most of them had hilarious attacks- I can't remember any specifically, stuff like, with one, Half golduck, have Dragonair-
"Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 10 damage. If tails, this attack does nothing. Either way, this attack does nothing. Goldanair does 500 damage to itself. Draw 5 cards. Search your deck for a card named Goldanair and put it into your hand, and shuffle five cards from your hand into your opponents deck."
And flavour text like,
"Nobody knows *censored* happened to create this pokemon, but most theorize it involved alcohol."
I had some hilarious ones but I can't actually remember them...